When you don't know how to make the changes in your life that you sincerely pray for, forces higher than yourself step in to help you.  It took months, but, I can see this now.  I can appreciate this now.  This is the beginning of getting my spirit back.

Mama: Where were you before you came into mommy’s tummy?

Mila: I don’t know.

Mama: But, how did you get into mommy’s tummy?

Mila: I found you. I picked you.  Then I came in and I ate and I grew.

Mama: ohhh…(heart melting…)  and, what about daddy?

Mila: I picked him too. that daddy.

After having a child, I kept wondering when I would go back to feeling like my “normal” self again…the Reema that I was before having a baby.  I waited and wondered.  I felt nostalgic and frustrated.  Then one day I realized that that Reema is gone.

My work is not to try and retrieve who I was before having a baby but to be receptive to who I am now.  Instead of this being depressing, it is exciting!  Instead of holding on to what no longer exists, I feel like a child discovering who I am.

Mamas, if you are like me, you don’t easily believe people when they say it is ok to leave your kids for a while (if they are in good hands, of course).  Well, I did it...for three weeks.

Since I’ve been back from my trip, it feels like we were never apart.  The lesson I learned: When the bond is deep, you feel the truth: Time and Space do not exist.

Yesterday I learned that we are made of our maternal Grandmothers.  When our mothers are six months gestated in the womb, they receive all the eggs they will ever have.  Our beginning of this physical life takes place there and then.  Perhaps that is why I feel close to my mother’s mother.

About ten days ago my landlords told me that they will not renew my lease.  As soon as I move out they said they will raise the rent by several hundreds of dollars.  My mind quickly turned to judgement and labels.  Negativity and darkness easily came through my heart and mind.

It is what we give that matters.  Not what we get.

Let go of the results of your actions!!!  This is one of the main messages in the yoga scriptures and I am just starting to realize its profundity.

If I feel like I am not going to get love back, I realize I hesitate to give love.  I hold back, flirting with fear, resentment, anger, jealousy.