Over the past few months, my relationship with my daughter's father fell apart, I lost my home in Portland, OR (a rental), and I'm completely revamping my business.
Life has been challenging, to say the least. I have observed myself flirting with sadness, resentment and the victim mentality of "why?" "why me?" "why this?" As I have been experiencing these emotions and thoughts over the past several months, I see now how such thinking has taken away my energy, power, vitality and spirit.
The work of internationally renowned healer, Carolyn Myss, helped me to catch myself from traveling further along a downward moving spiral. "There is only one force that can make such a mess of your life and it is not human," she says in one of her public talks. "You are living a very richly guided life."
Yes, of course, I could not agree with her more. I am not a victim. I am blessed.
When I look back upon my life in Portland, OR, one thing that rings true is a knowing deep within myself that I was not living my potential. Every day in Portland I felt this and every day I prayed that this would change. I did not know how to make changes in my life so that I would start to live my potential. But some force, more powerful than myself did know and does continue to guide me.
Relief. As I enjoy an immediate freedom from victim mentality, a beautiful space opens for gratitude and reverence for life. One shift in my mind and everything feels different in my heart, body and world.
When you don't know how to make the changes in your life that you sincerely pray for, forces higher than yourself step in to help you. It took months, but, I can see this now. I can appreciate this now. This is the beginning of getting my spirit back.
Another powerful way to call the spirit back is through forgiveness. When you acknowledge that everyone is a part of your life by divine design, not only does forgiveness come easily but forgiveness can quickly move to an even higher vibration - gratitude. Even those relationships and encounters that are painful, there can be gratitude for the lesson you are meant to learn and reverence for the doors opening.
I have known all of this in theory for decades. But, when we are ready for teachings to transform from concept to realization, we are tested. I had been clear in my prayers that I wanted things to change. Here, in the disguise of pain, is my opportunity.
Another step to retrieving your spirit is to shift the way that you view yourself. Someone asks, "how are you?" With awareness and trust, can you say with integrity, "I am okay." Do you see yourself as a strong person overcoming some challenges or as a weak person victimized and suffering? Choose strength. Be in touch with your talents, strengths, gifts and sources of happiness and express them unapologetically.
You get your spirit back by watching your vocabulary. In my example, I can choose to say, "I am a talented teacher and a strong person. I am happy that I have dedicated my life to healing and am excited to take my offerings to the next level." Instead of, "I am struggling, everything is falling apart. I don't know why life has to be so hard, etc..."
To heal, we must let go of the perception that something that was done to us should not have been done. My ex did not hurt me, he set me free. My landlords did not deny me a home, they opened my mind to choose a better home, shifts in my business compelled me to rethink my motivation and goals so that I am living my potential. Everything is a blessing.
With a group of trusted friends, squeeze the information and guidance out of the pain. Walk through every painful memory that captured your spirit and cut the strings and let the memories go. We are not meant to walk the path of healing alone. Allow your friends to be your witnesses. Let go of the past by letting the wounds go and placing your energy elsewhere, in moving forwards. With your friends, chart a course for your future. Visualize a path for yourself that has nothing to do with the wound that stripped you of your spirit.
We are continually in a state of gaining power and losing power. Pay attention to when you are losing your energy. Notice how you view yourself. When you see yourself as a being that is blessed, guided and part of a divine design, the challenges don't feel as overwhelming, forgiveness doesn't take as much effort, and we get our spirits back with more ease while being careful of what we let take our spirit away in the first place. We can say, my spirit is strong and x, y and z are not worth losing my spirit over.
Our thoughts can fuel or drain our bodies and spirits. We are always at choice. Pay attention to the attitudes that you invest your spirit and energy in. Celebrate your life. Keep your vibration high and your spirit intact through gratitude for what you have, reverence for life itself and awareness of the divine purpose in everything.
Let go of victim mentality completely and notice the energy that becomes available to you. Release complaining for appreciation. Pause as long as you need to make the shift. Seek help from others. Like everything, healing takes a village.