My spiritual practice aims to cultivate a mind and heart that can find compassion for all beings. After the 2012 rape and murder of Jyoti Singh in India, I was feeling lost and defeated. I emailed a dear friend, “I can’t find compassion for the men who raped and killed her,” I wrote. “My heart is just not capable of doing that.”
I have been aware over the past year or so that it has been hard for me to stay connected to my heart and body and my power as I have been focused so much on giving. If I had not gone on this trip, I would not have noticed just how much I have distanced myself from who I am beyond the roles of mother and partner.
Seeing a child move with freedom can inspire us to look at our own lives. The timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita encourages us to ask ourselves: is our outer life (svadharma) a refection of our inner world (svabhaga)? Are we living with integrity? The Gita teaches us that submission to external authority can move us away from self-integrity. The yoga teachings encourage us to develop our inner nature, relate to the world in ever new ways and thus grow into freedom where the integrity of the self is never compromised.
I experience the Great Spirit as a Goddess. The Mother of all Mothers. The Creator; she gives Life and She also takes it. I feel Her energy as exquisite Love. I see Her form as formless; countless shapes, sizes, colors, textures; all encompassed by radiant light. We all come from Her. And, we all go back to Her. She is Life and She is Death. When I remember Her Love, when I take time to connect with Her, even the fear of Death lessens. Even the sadness of those who have passed, decreases.
I took it very easy on my physical yoga practice while pregnant and during Mila's first year. When I recently told a friend that I had a hard time finding the time and energy to practice asana the first year, she laughed and said, "I barely brushed my teeth the first year!" "Yes," I thought, "I like this mama. She is so real!"
